


It's lovely

by Fanfan



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:40:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfan/pseuds/Fanfan
Summary: An attempt to get into Therese's wandering mind at the lunch scene





	It's lovely

**Author's Note:**

> a short fic focusing on Therese's POV and especially her thoughts and feelings at the lunch she shared with Carol.

“It’s lovely. ‘’ I hear you say from accross the table.  
You’re lovely I want to say. I want to scream outloud so everyone can hear me. Everyone but you.

How is it possible to feel so completely captured by someone and be so afraid of them at the same time.  
Your red lips, your red nails, the red scarf you’re wearing. And I never particulary liked red. Until today. Until now. Until you.

I want to memorize this.  
The way you’re holding a cigarette between the slender fingers of your right hand, the way you puff the smoke high above your head so it doesn’t block my view of....you.

I need to stay focused, years from now I want to remember every word rolling sweetly and slowly from your lips, every inch of your perfect skin, every vivid colour and sound surrounding us.  
But it all gets lost in the smell of your intoxicating perfume. 

Harge is your husband... your words hit me too hard and suddenly I feel the urge to cry.  
I choke back the surprise and pain that strikes me like a lightning, putting on a brave face but it’s no use.  
You can see right through me.

You’re in the middle of divorce...you hurry to explain.  
My feelings of sympathy are mixed with a sudden and unexplainable joy for life I have only felt once before on that warm spring day 3 years ago when I bought my first camera.

Yes, I live alone...I say and wish I'd have the courage to finish...no, I have no intention of getting married.  
Ask me, ask me anything and I will lay it all out there.  
From the deepest fears, to the wildest dreams and the truest truths.  
They are all you.

I watch you drift far away for a few seconds. In that eternity I am lost again.  
Look at me, come back to me and bring me back to life. Nothing else matters. Nothing before this day ever mattered.  
And nothing else ever will.

I hate spinach and I am not hungry.  
I am starved for those intense gazes you keep throwing across the table and for the calming effect of your voice that posseses my body and feeds life to my soul and heart.

Yes... Yes I would...I surrender and answer boldly and catch you off guard.  
It makes me feel proud but I wonder...Why you look so surprised? Has anyone ever said no to you?

You drift away again and I almost feel guilty.  
Like my heart your face too seems a weird mix of fear and excitement.

Flung out of space...you tell me.  
Your smile is misterious, your look inviting, daring me to explore the depths of my existence.  
I am lost and found at the same time.  
I feel so alive yet scared to even breathe, afraid I'll break this spell you put me under.

Is it sunday already?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if it's any good just please...be gentle ;) it is my first ever publish.


End file.
